Sunday, October 5, 2008

On Being an Adult

Sometimes, things aren’t funny. Life is messy, and some days it feels like I’m the only one cleaning any of it up. I’m the only one watching the kids in the playground. I’m the only one not paying someone else to raise my kids. I’m the only one without a career and 8 pairs of Italian leather boots. I’m the only who serves my family meals that they haven’t ordered from a sticky menu. I’m the only one who’s driving around a 12 year old wet dog smelling purple mini van with a dent in the left front panel. God I wish I were making up the part about the purple.

Yes, life is not as they described it. It’s like I neglected to notice the fine print at the bottom of the glossy brochure.

ADULT LIFE!!
THROW AWAY THOSE PESKY TEENAGE YEARS!
MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS!
CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY!!
TRAVEL! HAVE SEX!! BUY YOUR OWN LIQUOR!!!


Yes, you too can join the ranks of ‘adult’ even though you’re way too young, stupid and have absolutely no experience in making any significant and important life decisions such as:


Deciding on your career for the next 40 years
Choosing a life mate
Reproducing
Child Rearing
Knowing how much liquor is too much liquor
Is undercoating on your new vehicle a scam?
Thinking you can afford a new vehicle with undercoating

And so much more.....



ACT NOW!!
This is a limited time offer.



Disclaimer – Any and all forms of birth control will eventually fail. Travel and children do not mix. Any and all decisions made will have a lifetime of consequences. Liquor is an expensive way to deal with regretful decisions. If you are female, you cannot have it all. If you are a male, a woman will make your life a living hell 3 days per month. This life can be revoked at any time without warning or reason. You may not trade in the body given to you for a newer model. It is strongly advised to take care of the one you've been issued.


That's my problem. I never read the fine print. Not when signing my life away with our mortgage, our life insurance, or creating an account on Facebook.

When you’re 19, you believe the ‘act now!!’ bit. You jump in with both feet, knowing you’re going to be the one to change the world and have fun doing it all at the same time.

And in the blink of an eye, you’re looking down the barrel of a 40th birthday invitation and you wonder what the heck happened to all your dreams and wishful thinking.

Life happened.

Some days I think perhaps I just bought the wrong model.

On all the other ones, I know that I have the life I wanted. Most of it anyways. And if I go back and read the fine print, I realize that I cannot have it all, at least not all at once anyways.


I hope this melancholy is gone by tomorrow.


* Reminder!! The contest is closing tonight at 11pm! Get your comments in for a chance to win a glorious prize. *

3 comments:

Heather said...

Are we supposed to read between the lines and discover that you are pregnant?????

Do these people who plan and don't just live life REALLY have any joy?

Could we ever think big enough to plan the kind of joy that we can stretch to experience?

colleen4 said...

This is how ugly rumours start.

No, I am not pregnant!

No, I suppose that too much planning would kind of suck the joy out of real life. But in the times of complete chaos, when the dog is peeing on her new pillow and on the carpet, the other dog is peeing somewhere else and there's a two year old having a melt down, it certainly feels like a bit of planning might have been a good thing at some point.

But that's not how I roll....

tentativeequinox said...

How come the contest closed on Sunday and today is TUESDAY already and we don't know who the winner is?

My vote (in case I get a vote) is the dog shampoo using husband. Who's with me?