Sunday, August 31, 2008

Summer Accomplishments

The end of summer. Bittersweet. Everyone is ready for change but sad to see the lazy days end.

I always have grandiose thoughts of accomplishing vast amounts of stuff at the the beginning of summer. Then Labour Day comes in the blink of an eye and it feels like all I managed to do was not have Social Services stop by for an unscheduled visit.

So, while I'm being forced to listen to ABBA and watch various Webkins dance (please don't's really not how I envisioned spending my Sunday mornings when I was in my youth, not to mention the oddity that Kaitlyn has ABBA on her iTunes playlist, and I didn't get to finish my coffee as Keeley decided to wash her hair scrunchies in it when I went to the bathroom....I'm a tad irritable.)

Where was I?

Oh, ya. Accomplishments. Yes. What did I accomplish this summer?

Perhaps another list.

Top Ten Things I Accomplished This Summer of 2000 and 8.

10. I bought a new journal. I've written in it twice. One of the entries doesn't have swear words in it.

9. We went camping. Albeit in an ARRRVEEEE, and we made s'mores in the microwave, but it still counts.

8. I cleaned up the wasteland on the side of our house and made it look all pretty and presentable. The neighbours really didn't have to stand outside and clap, but it was a nice touch.

7. I read the entire Twilight series. I know. I know. Don't yell at me. But Edward is just so dreamy and if you were going to fall in love with a Vampire, you'd want him to be just like Edward. Not like one that would kill you or something. That would have made for a quick book. Did I mention that the kids were up at 6 am and I haven't had much coffee?

6. I read the entire Anne of Green Gables series. Yes, I've read them several times, but just love them and wanted to experience the thrill of Anne realizing that she DOES love Gilbert after all. Dreamy sigh.

5. I visited almost every park in Maple Ridge.

4. I recovered the diningroom chairs. Hmmm. Maybe I did that in June. Crap. I posted about that too, so I'll get caught in a lie if that's the case. Hang on.

No....all good. That was in July.

3. I got to witness my husband compete in the Provincial Lifeguard Championships after being in retirement for 10 years. In the humble words of Arthur Hoggett, "That'll do, Heath. That'll do."

2. I didn't kill either dog.

and my #1 accomplishment for the Summer of 2008......

1. I drank 86 beer.

Not all at once.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Too Close to Home

My little town makes National News. And it's not good.

A 51 year old man drove his pick up truck through a local sushi restaurant on Thursday night. Two people are dead, 6 injured, including a 9 year old boy. Witnesses say the truck did not try to stop. So we all comfort ourselves with the thought that it must have been a medical emergency....51 years old...heart attack? Stroke?

We have to think that it was a horrible accident. How else do you process this type of horrific news?

But then the police tell us today that the man has been charged with 2 counts of second degree murder and 6 counts of attempted murder. He didn't know any of his victims.

And my mind cannot process this information.

There is something overpowering about bad news happening in your back door. There is something indescribable about evil happening in your community. You cannot stop asking yourself, "How many times have I been in that parking lot? How many times have I walked right past that store?

I'm very sad for our little community today. Sad for a family who has lost a wife and mother, sad for a family who lost their daughter just embarking on her adult life.

And sad for the people who witnessed this event, sad for the owners of the restaurant, sad for the firefighters, paramedics and police officers who had to deal with all of it.

Some things will never make sense, I suppose.

I'm going to go hug my kids now.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


There's nothing like the start of a school year around the long weekend corner to spur some changes.

Me starting to blog again is one.

Eilidh sporting a new smile is another.

Getting Keeley's hair cut is one more. I almost cried. OK!! I cried....but just a bit. I didn't embarrass Kaitlyn too much.

How cute is that?!

And I can't wait for Tuesday. 9 am.

God bless the teachers.

Friday, August 15, 2008

What the.....

I like telling this little incident that happened tonight because I come off looking great. Heath, not so much.

After picking up Kaitlyn from work tonight, we all headed over to our local strip mall kinda deal. I was driving the purple minivan. I dropped Heath and Patrick off at one end of the vast parking lot where Patrick wanted to buy a video game. I said we'd meet them over at Stupidstore, as there was something that Kaitlyn wanted to pick up over there.

I parked the van, put Keeley in her stroller and perused all the discounted outdoor stuff while Kaitlyn ran into the store. She came out 30 seconds later saying they didn't have what she needed. Kaitlyn and I started walking down to Winners and I called Heath on his cell, asking him to meet us at Winners, not at Stupidstore.

So there Kaitlyn and I were, standing inside Winners with a clear view of Heath and Patrick walking across the vast parking lot. I got distracted with Keeley destroying a toy display, and when I looked up, I saw Heath and Patrick standing by a purple minivan fiddling with the side window that was open a crack. I thought, "What the....".

It was a purple minivan. It wasn't our purple minivan.

Heath had slid Patrick's new video game into a stranger's minivan. (I'm cracking up just typing that. You can't make this stuff up. Hehe.)

There are some things I've never pictured myself doing.

Asking a Winner's clerk to page the owner of a purple minivan is one of them. Having to explain the situation to TWO different owners of purple minivans is another. There were at least 10 people laughing their heads off in that store as I walked out with a very nice lady to her purple minivan.

Patrick got his game back. I got a blog story. And Heath....well, he learned a valuable lesson.

There are way to0 many generic purple minivans in Maple Ridge.

Saturday, August 9, 2008



I'm back.

At home.

Steeped in reality.

This week I broke a record. I survived the longest running migraine of my life while camping with four children and my in-laws. A five day migraine for all you who are interested. Insert feeling sorry for me here. > * <

Despite thinking I was most obviously dying from a brain tumor, we all had a good time. Making s'mores with the aid of an RV microwave left a bit to be desired, though. We came back with lots of cheap American beer so I'm all set now that my migraine is gone.

Nothing broke down in our vehicle. We did not get stranded on the side of the road and I did not spend our vacation in a repair garage. There were no wasp attacks or ant infestations.

I have lots of witty and adorable stories to tell. But they will have to wait. I'm not feeling very witty or adorable today.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

And the Mahoney Family Camping Trip Begins....

Or does it?

Heath's uncle is very ill. We might not go or we might go but not with his parents or we might not go where we originally planned or....

And since we were planning on going 'over the border' down to Birch Bay, the Loonie fell 4 cents overnight. Some guy on the news was blabbering about falling oil prices or something but I know. I know it's our fault. Sorry all you investors. I know the real reason. It's because the Mahoneys are heading (somewhere) on the road and starting their family vacation.

Let the fun begin!


Update!! Heath's uncle is stabilizing. Thank you God. It's on. We're going. Vacationing in Birch Bay with four kids and the in-laws. In their RV.

Now if I could just stop Eilidh from saying "That thar is an RRRRVVVVEEEEE". Any of you National Lampoon Christmas Vacation fans out there know what I'm talking about. For the record, the in-laws RV is in no way remotely related to the RV in that movie, but someone who shall not be named made the mistake of quoting that line once or twice. Oops.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Stupidstore Thinks I'm Stupid

I want to warn you all about a little scam I call, "Let's offer our customers gas at a discount and then raise all our prices."

Stupidstore. Shudder.

Yes. I went there today. Perhaps that's where the stupid part starts, I admit, but I had shopping to do for camping and just daily life, so off I went. I went prepared. I had a list. I had read their flyer and knew what was on sale.

The store was COVERED in signs letting me know I was going to SAVE BIG on gas today!! The more I bought, the bigger my savings were going to be at their gas pump today!! I proceeded into the store to my first purchase from their newspaper advertisement of 30% off sunscreen. And it wasn't on sale. Then went to pick up my diaper wipes that were advertised as free when I got their club pack of diapers.....and it was only the 'supreme' club pack that had that deal, not the ones I buy, yet WERE PICTURED in the flyer. Do you think I could find anyone to ask them about this? Of course not.

As I proceeded throughout the store, and down my list, I discovered that the vast majority of things I typically purchase in their store had been marked up. Way up. Like, whole grain bread I bought last Friday at $2.48 was now $3.79. I could see the previous sticker underneath. It was rampant in the store. Those employees must have been up all night changing all the prices.

Then I went to get the juice that was advertised in their flyer at 2 for $1. Not on sale in the store. Oh, really?

Cereal. Box I bought last week at $4.99 was now mark at $6.99. Didn't get any.

The granola bars on for $1.49? (Hey, we're going camping.) None of the slightly better variety that were shown in their flyer were there.

Save up to 50% on camping and sporting goods? There was not ONE thing in there with a larger discount than 33%. And I was in the store on the very first day.

I hate being duped. I HATE supporting a store that thinks I'm an idiot and will fall for their tricks. But I wasn't finished. I still had to get through the checkout.

Subconsciously, I must have been wanting to seek my revenge, and so I dropped a case of pop at the checkout. Yes, I'm a klutz. But I'm also a Mahoney so I managed to drop the pop in such a way as to cause one of those said pops nestled inside the case to explode and start spirting generic sprite all over the floor, the checkout next to us, the shopping cart and of course, all over me. As I'm standing there, holding a possessed box of soda, the checkout girl actually asks me, "Is it leaking?" I'm not sure what gave it away. The noise the case was making? The sticky pop spewing out the cracks? Me saying,"AHHH. It's spraying everywhere?"

I begged her for help. A garbage can? Some paper towels? Page someone? ANYTHING! Please don't just stand there looking at me holding an animated case of pop.

She finally paged someone to come help. That was great. Some fourteen year old BOY came and stood there looking at me, still holding the case of pop with liquid squirting out. He finally said, "Oh. Is it leaking?" Which led me to believe that it must be a phrase taught in Stupidstore Employee Training. He came around to my side of the counter and tried to take the case. I suggested he get a garbage can or something, but he just took the case and started walking away. And as pop is streaming out the sides and all along the floor, he says, "OH!!! It's really leaking."

And honest, I am not making this up, I had to tell the cashier that she should call someone to clean up the pop that was all over the floor so the 90 year old lady behind me wouldn't slip and fall. "Oh, really? The floor's wet? Is it sticky?"

Very long pause.

I did not swear at her. Or under my breath. Honest.

"Yes...the floor is sticky. And wet. The pop spilled all over the floor. Pop is wet and sticky." (Ok, that part I just said in my head, but, I WISH I had the guts to say it out loud.)

In the end, the 90 year old lady paid for her groceries standing in a puddle of no name sprite, with me bagging my groceries and watching her, waiting to dive and catch her if she started to go down. The 14 year old BOY eventually came and handed a new case of pop to the cashier, who promptly gave it to the 90 year old lady. The elderly lady didn't even try to explain it to the cashier. She just rolled her eyes and handed the case to me.

So, all in all, I guess Stupidstore is out $1.48 because of me.

Who's laughing now...huh?