Gol' Darn Tarnation...Young 'uns These Days!

As I lay in bed last night, trying to go to sleep, I had the urge to scream profanities out my bedroom window.

Our little neighbourhood has always been pretty quiet. That is, until last fall when some hooligans moved in. Young 'uns. Young adults exuding testosterone. Youth with a propensity towards alcohol. And fun. And being loud. And swearing in inebriated jest. Then swearing at the people yelling at them to keep it down because there are children trying to sleep. And then cursing at the dogs that are barking non stop at their loud swearing.

It's a vicious cycle.

A vicious cycle that nearly culminated in me losing it and calling the cops.

Yes. You read that right. I'm officially old.

I almost picked up the phone and dialed the non emergency line for our local police. I might have gone through with it, too, if it hadn't meant I'd have to get out of bed and look up the non emergency number.

But I'm old. And I was tired. So I lay in bed listening to the call of the wild mixed with cheap beer and reminisced about how I never behaved like that in my youth.

At a wedding once, but never in my youth.

And so now I'm plotting my revenge. Lawn mowing at 6am? Organizing a little girls screaming contest to be held every Sunday morning? Rent a spot light and bullhorn and give a play by play of what girl dissed which guy's moves? Or perhaps I could rig up some speakers and play Celine Dion out their way once the partying gets past my comfort zone. Or Raffi. Nothing says "The party's over!" like a middle aged man singing Baby Beluga.

*Please note the selection of Canadian artists. I'm all about Canadian content on my blog.

Sadly, I know I won't do anything. Come on, if I'm too lazy to get out of bed and dial a phone number, I can't imagine expending the energy needed to find my Celine Dion CD.

I mean...if I had one. Which I don't.

Honest.

But it's fun to seek revenge, if only in my head.

Blogger Should Have a Filtration System

Question.

Who writes a blog entry at 2:30 in the morning.....and then posts it?

That would be me.

And who writes a blog entry PUBLICLY STATING NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS while sleep deprived?

That would be me, too.

I think Blogger should have a filtration system to prevent middle of the night fiascoes such as that. Like, I'm the only one who's ever done something like that. Pfft.

I also think making promises about writing 'more signficant stuff' is a tad out of my realm. Why on earth I thought I would have a significant thought in my head just because it's the year 2009 is beyond me.

So hear we go people. I'm all caught up on my sleep and haven't barfed for days. So I give you my NEW and IMPROVED New Year's Resolutions.

1. Live life to its absolute fullest.

2. Don't take the dog to the pound.

3. Do not have a 40th birthday party. Seriously.

4. Watch my eldest child graduate from high school.

5. Cry.

6. Laugh.

7. Don't yell at my kids as much.

8. Love.

9. Be happy.

10. Receive a shiny new video card in the mail (hey....there are 12 months in a year. This could happen).

10. 'Let go and let God' for everything else. He does a much better job than I ever do.

And blog a bit more.

Oh, wait. THAT'S what I must have meant. Blog significantly more about stuff. Not blog about more significant stuff.



Hmm. Maybe a writer's group.....

Sleep and Airplanes

I was in the middle of a lovely dream last night, where the airport was conveniently located next to my house. I was just about to board a plane when I awoke with a start.

Startled awake by the sounds of snoring.

It wasn't the Hubby.

It was the DOG.

And not the 70 pound dog.

It was the 7 pound dog. Sawing logs. In a large forest. With a chain saw.

I've been woken up many a time in my history of sleep.....snoring Husband, crying baby, barfing child, water breaking...you know...they usual stuff. But now I am being woken up by the 14 year old dog snoring away?

By the eighth tree, he took a smoke break and I got back to boarding that plane.

Turns out it's great to have an airport right next door because the pilot will wait for you to run home and grab the child's blanket you forgot to pack.

If I got more sleep I wouldn't forget these things in the first place.

It's 11 pm. Do you know where your children are?

Yes. I do.

Which is why I'm sitting in front of the computer, not going to bed.

Because I know there's a 6 year old in my bed, sweating away, limbs sprawled out in all directions, just waiting to leech her sleeping self onto me as soon as I go to bed. Leech. And sweat.

You see, I'm a pushover. I cave in to the misty, forlorn, "my daddy has gone away again and left me with you", sad, big blue eyes of a 6 year old, just like Patrick caves at the sight of bacon. How can I tell her she can't sleep in my bed while her daddy's away when she looks at me like that?

If I were stoic, I would be relishing in the thought of a sleep filled night with no snoring. (Sorry Heath. I couldn't help myself.) But I'm not stoic, I have no spine, I caved, and now my slumber will be comparable to sleeping in a sauna with an octopus that has massive suction cups on its flailing appendages and is wearing army boots.

Motherhood. Not for the faint of heart.

Pumpkin Scones

I decided to make pumpkin scones today. (Exciting! I know you've all been on the edge of your seat waiting to hear about the latest crazy moment of my life.)

I just realized that I make pumpkin scones on Tuesdays. (ANOTHER exciting bit of info for you....I'm sure you're hyperventilating by now.) I had no idea until today. Am I a nimrod for not realizing this until today or just a closet organizational freak who is so closeted that she doesn't even know it? Am I just an insane creature of habit? Maybe it's the sleep deprivation of the past 2 years that have caused me to not notice until today. I'm starting to feel a bit loopy.

I dunno....with four kids and a busy household I was under the assumption that apart from Monday meaning lots of loads of laundry and Friday meaning a trip to Stupidstore, I kinda went with the flow and 'planned' things by the seat of my you know what.

I'm so tired. I feel like I've been awake since 5:30 am Saturday morning. And Keeley is still sick. I don't know where I'm going with this. I cannot type three letters without making a mistake. Must go put on coffee. This whole scone epiphany must go on a shelf somewhere to be pulled down later.

Fortunately for the family, I can make pumpkin scones with my eyes closed. And they go GREAT with coffee.