Living Up to Your Name

Aww...Stupidstore...

I know. Math is hard.

An Injury

I have a shoulder injury.

Oh, don't go out and buy me flowers and a get well card. It's a minor shoulder injury. Minor enough not to have to go to the doctor but major enough to complain to The Husband about it.

I'd like to be able to brag that I injured my shoulder playing tennis, lifting weights at the gym, or perhaps saving a child from a burning building.

But this is me. I got injured by toilet paper. I have a toilet paper injury.

Google search is going to have a heyday with my blog today.

I was doing some shopping at my least favourite store in the world. A store that doesn't put their toilet paper rolls on shelves but prefers to cut open the cardboard boxes of TP and stack them up super duper high one on top of the other. Stacked higher than 5'1" little me. Much higher.

Apparently, packages of 30 roll count of toilet paper can get precariously off balance. Especially when a 5'1" person takes a package from one of the middle boxes because she cannot possibly reach the top box.

I learned some things that day. I swear instinctively when being pummelled by copious packages of bathroom tissue. I have the reflexes of a sloth. 30 roll count of TP is surprising heavy when lots of it is falling on top of you. And I am anal enough to actually pick up all the packages of TP and put them back on the shelf with my non injured arm.

The Husband accused me of missing out on a little windfall by not informing someone at the store that their carelessness, nay, negligence, in toilet paper stacking policies caused me an injury. I replied that I wasn't going to be going down in history as the lady who sued Stupidstore for a toilet paper injury. I'd be second in line after that lady who sued Micky D's for making their coffee hot and not telling her she shouldn't put it in between her legs with the lid off in a moving car.

Some days, you have to take one for the team. You make sacrifices to take care of your family. You go and slay the dragon, flaunting your war wounds as medals of honour. You can hold your head high, knowing that you fought the toilet paper and won.....your family will not have to resort to grabbing drive thru paper napkins from the minivan to wipe their hinies.

Sadly, my toilet paper shoulder injury was for naught. I got home and I realized that I hadn't bought any toilet paper.

Apparently, I have a head injury, too.

Autopilot

I've been grocery shopping for a few years now.

Even before I was married and still living at home, it was my work responsibility to do the shopping for the day care's hot lunch program. Lunches and snacks for 22 children, 5 days a week. I had one hour a week to do the shopping. I learned to shop quickly and to stay within a strict budget.

Fast forward 20 years or so and I'm still shopping quickly and within a budget. Just not for 22 children. Although, the way The Boy is eating lately, it's starting to feel like I'm shopping for at least 10.

Enter Stupidstore. Someone, who I'm sure has a fancy title and is very important, recently decided to move every flipping item in their store to a new location. Except the milk and eggs. And the bread. Ok, the deli department looks the same too. But everything else has been moved around. Even stuff that's in the same aisle as before has been switched to the other side. (For those of you who don't know what a Stupidstore sells, it sells everything from housewares to books to home decor to toys to groceries to seasonal stuff to toenail clippers. It's a lot of stuff to move.)

I've been shopping at that store for 4 and a half years. I knew where everything was. Everything. Brown sugar. Large bag of Craisins. Those Asian crackers that the girls like so much. Inexpensive picture frames. The discount bin. Life was tolerable.

But then they changed everything, and now a 25 minute shopping trip has turned into an hour. Each aisle I turn down brings me new grief and frustration. Each new aisle is full of customers looking just like me.....pushing their shopping carts with one wonky wheel, wandering aimlessly with a vacant, slightly dazed look in their eyes. I started snickering at one point because as I looked at the scene, I couldn't help but think we all looked like we were participating in some sick zombie movie.

But with less moaning and dragging of assorted body parts.

On the upside, the checkout lines are really short. All those wandering souls on a quest to find chickpeas and granola bars were, well, still on their quest. Godspeed, said I. Godspeed.

It's been two weeks since I've stepped foot in Stupidstore. My mom is cheering. My kids are complaining. But I just don't have the energy needed to shop on manual functioning. I like autopilot. I need to use the manual functioning for chasing The Baby, remembering what hair colour to buy and making pop explode in the checkout lane.

So, dear Stupidstore, the hundreds of hours you have paid out to rearrange your store has driven one of your customers over the edge, which I realize wasn't that hard to do considering I was hanging onto said edge with my unmanicured hands and some bungee cords wrapped around my ass, but still.

I don't know when I'll be back. I'm sure you've noticed a drop in milk and cream sales. And perhaps you've been scratching your head at the sudden decline in dill pickle chip purchases. But you brought it upon yourself.

And what can conclusions can we draw from this little tirade?

Change is bad.

And I think those bungee cords just snapped.

Stupidstore is Still Stupid

It's been a while since I vented about Stupidstore.

I know. You're rolling your eyes at me. Right this very moment my mother is saying out loud, "WHY DO YOU SHOP THERE??"

Because I'm cheap. You all know that. Once every two weeks I go to buy stuff that's way cheaper there and once in a while they throw me a blog story. It's all good.

Today I was conned into buying a large box of waffles. They were on sale for $6.48. Exactly. I cannot remember to pay the hydro bill on time or what kind of coffee to buy, but I can remember how much groceries cost. It's a sickness, really. Some people cure diseases. I can tell you how much a can of Heinz beans cost in Qualicum Beach circa 1996. (68 cents. Would go on sale 2 for 99 cents every six weeks.)

I know.

I cry at my life too.

Today's escapade with the stinking waffles started with the Eldest looking at me all Bambi like and requesting waffles to celebrate Easter. I would like to point out that I usually make our waffles from scratch and they are quite lovely. But not quite as speedy as 20 seconds in the toaster and let's face it, when you have a waffle craving, there's nothing like opening up the freezer and finding love nestled amongst the ice cubes.

When the cashier scanned the box of waffles, they scanned in at $8.38.

I don't think so.

"Excuse me....what did those waffles just scan through at?"

The cashier scanned them again, and sure enough, they scanned in at $8.38.

"I'm pretty sure those are on sale for $6.48."

The cashier looked at me funny. (I get that a lot. It's ok.) Then she asked me if I'd like her to do a price check.

No, that's perfectly alright. I'm fine with being overcharged a buck ninety.

"Yes. Please," I said.

So the cashier did a price check. We all waited around. I could feel the eyes of the next person waiting in line boring into me. The clerk's phone finally rang and BOOYA! I was vindicated. $6.48 it was.

The cashier then manually changed the price of the waffles and before I could say anything, she got back on her phone and requested a supervisor for an override.

The supervisor, who, by the way was around my age....about 29.....eventually arrived, reached over the cashier, punched in some numbers so $6.48 appeared on the screen, wrote down the bar code (I'm assuming so she could go key in the correct code price) then started to walk away.

"Excuse me......EXCUSE ME.....but don't you have a policy about getting an item for free if it scans in at the wrong price?"

The supervisor didn't even make eye contact with me. Said nothing. She just turned around, punched in some more numbers then walked away. Not a word was ever spoken to me.

I got my waffles for free. But what kind of customer service is that? Here in Canada, there is something called the 'Code of Practice: Scanner Price Accuracy Voluntary Code'. And guess what? Stupidstore is a member.

Incorrect bar code pricing is inevitable. I know that. But at other stores, such as Save-On-Foods, the cashier automatically gives you the item for free, apologizes for the mistake and for causing you inconvenience. Which is how it should be handled. Those are the rules.

Stupidstore should be honouring the rules they agreed to when they signed that Code of Practice. They shouldn't be leaving it to their customers to remind them of their responsibilities.

And their supervisors should know how to make eye contact and speak. At the very least, not be rude.

I am the price check police. Hear me roar.

Stupidstore Thinks I'm Stupid

I want to warn you all about a little scam I call, "Let's offer our customers gas at a discount and then raise all our prices."

Stupidstore. Shudder.

Yes. I went there today. Perhaps that's where the stupid part starts, I admit, but I had shopping to do for camping and just daily life, so off I went. I went prepared. I had a list. I had read their flyer and knew what was on sale.

The store was COVERED in signs letting me know I was going to SAVE BIG on gas today!! The more I bought, the bigger my savings were going to be at their gas pump today!! I proceeded into the store to my first purchase from their newspaper advertisement of 30% off sunscreen. And it wasn't on sale. Then went to pick up my diaper wipes that were advertised as free when I got their club pack of diapers.....and it was only the 'supreme' club pack that had that deal, not the ones I buy, yet WERE PICTURED in the flyer. Do you think I could find anyone to ask them about this? Of course not.

As I proceeded throughout the store, and down my list, I discovered that the vast majority of things I typically purchase in their store had been marked up. Way up. Like, whole grain bread I bought last Friday at $2.48 was now $3.79. I could see the previous sticker underneath. It was rampant in the store. Those employees must have been up all night changing all the prices.

Then I went to get the juice that was advertised in their flyer at 2 for $1. Not on sale in the store. Oh, really?

Cereal. Box I bought last week at $4.99 was now mark at $6.99. Didn't get any.

The granola bars on for $1.49? (Hey, we're going camping.) None of the slightly better variety that were shown in their flyer were there.

Save up to 50% on camping and sporting goods? There was not ONE thing in there with a larger discount than 33%. And I was in the store on the very first day.

I hate being duped. I HATE supporting a store that thinks I'm an idiot and will fall for their tricks. But I wasn't finished. I still had to get through the checkout.

Subconsciously, I must have been wanting to seek my revenge, and so I dropped a case of pop at the checkout. Yes, I'm a klutz. But I'm also a Mahoney so I managed to drop the pop in such a way as to cause one of those said pops nestled inside the case to explode and start spirting generic sprite all over the floor, the checkout next to us, the shopping cart and of course, all over me. As I'm standing there, holding a possessed box of soda, the checkout girl actually asks me, "Is it leaking?" I'm not sure what gave it away. The noise the case was making? The sticky pop spewing out the cracks? Me saying,"AHHH. It's spraying everywhere?"

I begged her for help. A garbage can? Some paper towels? Page someone? ANYTHING! Please don't just stand there looking at me holding an animated case of pop.

She finally paged someone to come help. That was great. Some fourteen year old BOY came and stood there looking at me, still holding the case of pop with liquid squirting out. He finally said, "Oh. Is it leaking?" Which led me to believe that it must be a phrase taught in Stupidstore Employee Training. He came around to my side of the counter and tried to take the case. I suggested he get a garbage can or something, but he just took the case and started walking away. And as pop is streaming out the sides and all along the floor, he says, "OH!!! It's really leaking."

And honest, I am not making this up, I had to tell the cashier that she should call someone to clean up the pop that was all over the floor so the 90 year old lady behind me wouldn't slip and fall. "Oh, really? The floor's wet? Is it sticky?"

Very long pause.

I did not swear at her. Or under my breath. Honest.

"Yes...the floor is sticky. And wet. The pop spilled all over the floor. Pop is wet and sticky." (Ok, that part I just said in my head, but, I WISH I had the guts to say it out loud.)

In the end, the 90 year old lady paid for her groceries standing in a puddle of no name sprite, with me bagging my groceries and watching her, waiting to dive and catch her if she started to go down. The 14 year old BOY eventually came and handed a new case of pop to the cashier, who promptly gave it to the 90 year old lady. The elderly lady didn't even try to explain it to the cashier. She just rolled her eyes and handed the case to me.

So, all in all, I guess Stupidstore is out $1.48 because of me.

Who's laughing now...huh?