Things You Can Do While on Hold for the Next Representative

"All our representatives are currently serving other customers. If you will please hold the line, a representative will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience."

Sometimes when on hold with a company, oh, let's say, Gateway, for example, a person has to wait their turn. Even when it's your turn, they might, I mean, perhaps, put you back on hold to speak with level two. It could happen. Level one may not have any record of a shipping order being placed for a shiny new video card. It could happen. Maybe.

So what's a person to do while they're on hold? Perplexing question, I agree.

So let's make a little list, shall we?

• eat a sandwich


• put clothes into the dryer


• start a new load of laundry


• check your google reader


• write a comment on someone's blog


• switch phone to other ear


• read a new blog


• decide not to subscribe to new blog....way too perfect


• look out window at the messy snow


• watch a guy shovel his stuck car out of the snow - repeatedly


• say a prayer that the guy doesn't hit the corner of your house while trying to get his car unstuck


• switch phone to other ear


• fold some laundry


• clean stuff off of stairs


• put batteries that are strewn across counter into the battery charger


• tell the Boy to feed the dog


• take the Baby to the potty


• take toy out of dog's mouth


• switch phone to other ear


• check email


• check time


• sigh


• clean assorted toys off of couches


• fix couch cushions


• spellcheck 'cushions' and realize the classical music you've been listening to is not making you smarter


• put coffee table back to its intended position


• fold some more laundry


• put the kettle on for tea


• sneak a peak and smell of pot roast cooking....mmmmmm.


• make tea


• empty the dishwasher


• switch phone to other ear


• drink tea
  

And in the blink of an eye, 59 minutes later, you will speak with a Gateway representative, only to be put on hold for another 10 minutes. And he'll come back on the line and tell you the part is still on back order and isn't scheduled to arrive until January 30, so that crick in you neck will be for naught. But you shouldn't worry because they upgraded your shipping, so once they get the part, and test it, and yadayadayada, you'll get it real quick.

My house is looking fairly tidy.

How I Wish This Title Said, "The Last Installment of the Gateway Saga"

Raul is a big fat liar.

BIG fat liar.

After spending an hour and a half on the phone with Gateway, I got to talk with James, aka Mr. Grumpy. I guess he was wishing he was out finding some great Black Friday deals out there in the heart of Texas, instead of pretending to 'help' people who's only Christmas wish is to have a working computer.

Mr. Grumpy informed me that no, our shiny new video card had not been shipped last Thursday. How could someone have told me it would be shipped when it was on back order and won't be in......

......for at least a month, or longer.

Mr. Grumpy wasn't interested in feeling sorry for me or anything of that nature. He thought it would be a better idea to basically call me a liar and tell me it was impossible for someone to have told me three weeks ago that the part would be in by the time my old video card arrived.

Ok.

I give up.

You win Gateway. I've no strength left to fight. I will sit here and get on with life and pretend I don't own one of your computers.

If and when a new video card arrives, I will be pleasantly surprised and make note of the date, sometime in the year of 2009. It will be the day of miracles and our family will gather round the silver piece of metal and wait with baited breath as the Husband fires up the ol' girl from her 3 month slumber. We will sing a song and say a prayer of thanks for having the gift of modern technology and for being given the opportunity of telling an estimated 894 people to never never never never NEVER buy a GATEWAY computer.

Don't think I won't be keeping track of how many people I have told.

In the distant future, when that UPS man arrives at my door, I will tell him too, and then I will tell all of you exactly how many people I have informed.

It's all I can do.

A Not So Subliminal Message

I just looked at the UPS notification that was sent to my email.

The video card made it to New York yesterday. Yay for UPS and being a competent company.

UPS even told me who signed for it.

This is what it said:

PRAY

My tummy hurts.

Have I Mentioned That Gateway Has Crappy Service? Update

I was out this morning, with my handy dandy cell phone by my side.

When I got home, there was a message on my home phone from......

GATEWAY!

Hurray. The gentleman (who said he would fix this problem yesterday), left a message informing me he HAS fixed the problem and they will be shipping a new video card off to me. But I just needed to call him back and give him some information. And he left a number for me to call back. In Texas.

Let me get this straight. I need to call him long distance, during business hours....to TEXAS?? What part of, "I'm choked at your company and I am not spending one more dime on that dead video card" didn't get across on the phone yesterday? I had given him my cell number as well as my home phone number and told him specifically to please call the cell if I was not at home.

Sigh. The Husband made me call. I wasn't going to on principle. But he made me. Something about eventually being able to use the dang computer again.

So I called. And the Gateway guy wasn't in.

Perhaps he was out mailing me my new video card. By snail mail I'm sure.

GATEWAY = #*^%@*!

Last post, I wrote about a little problem I was having with GATEWAY aka ACER computer company. Yes....GATEWAY.

No, I didn't swear at any of the GATEWAY employees I spoke with today.

No, our old video card has not yet arrived in New York. UPS phoned this morning to let me know this, and the fact that they couldn't ship it to Ontario from New York. I interrupted the very nice man on the phone to tell him it didn't need to go to Ontario after all. It needed to go back to Texas and that GATEWAY was supposed to have dealt with this issue yesterday.

No, GATEWAY didn't.

I told the lovely UPS man that I would call him back.

Yes, I was on the phone for 2 hours with GATEWAY this morning.

Yes, my migraine is back.

No, there was no record of anything I went through with GATEWAY this past Friday. I went through the whole thing with yet another GATEWAY customer service representative because they couldn't possibly connect me with the person who told me so very rudely to stop questioning her and that my old video card needed to get sent to Texas, not Ontario, even though I had her badge number.

Yes, I did get transferred to someone that the GATEWAY employee assured me could rectify my problem.

No, she couldn't.

She put me on hold after I explained my issue with her. She came back on the line and told me......ok, you probably won't believe any of this story from this point on, but I assure you, I couldn't possibly make this up.

She told me that the video card needed to get sent to Ontario.

Yes, I said, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME."

No, she wasn't. To which I replied, "Fine. When it gets to New York tomorrow, ship it to Ontario."

To which the GATEWAY employee replied, "It's the customer's responsibility to ship the part."

I have to edit the next part quite a bit because it involves me losing it a wee bit and then apologizing to the GATEWAY employee for getting mad at her, but it basically ends up with me respectfully requesting to speak with her supervisor.

No, GATEWAY didn't have a supervisor I could speak with. No, there was NO GATEWAY employee she could transfer me to. I told her I was not going to pay for the card to be shipped back to Canada, and then pay for it to get shipped from BC to Ontario. She told me then I wouldn't be getting the new video card. I said this was unacceptable. This was not my fault. I've spent how many hours on the phone over this, and I wanted to speak with someone higher up about this.

The GATEWAY employee told me I could write a letter to their office in Texas to request they reimburse me. I took down the address and hung up.

Back on the phone with UPS. The wonderful guy suggested I just go and buy a new video card because by the time I pay for shipping from New York to BC and then from BC to Ontario, I would be spending that much anyways. But here's the clincher. If I put in a part that doesn't come from GATEWAY, the computer warranty is null and void if we have future problems. And let's face it, I'm not letting GATEWAY win this one.

Yes, I got back on the phone with GATEWAY. I immediately asked to speak with a supervisor. And this particular GATEWAY employee seemed fairly horrified with my story (which of course, was not documented anywhere on our service account) and he transferred me to 'level 2'.

I was put on hold and an automated message came on telling me I would have approximately a 5 minute wait. I was on hold for 40 minutes.

Yes, I told the whole story over again. And ended it with, "When the package arrives in New York tomorrow, I want your company to ship it to Ontario."

Yes, the GATEWAY employee put me back on hold. He kept coming back on line every 10 minutes or so saying he was still working on the problem.

25 minutes later, he finally came back on the line and asked if he could call me back once he's figured out a solution to the problem.

So, here I sit. I'm taking bets. When do you think I'll hear back from GATEWAY? Do you think I WILL hear back from GATEWAY? Do you think they'll ship my new video card? Do you think GATEWAY aka ACER sucks? Do you think we will EVER buy another GATEWAY/ACER product? Do you think my migraine will ever leave????

I'm going to go join the 'GATEWAY SUCKS' group on Facebook.

Computer Woes

I realize I'm taking a chance posting this, considering our computer is still not fixed. But sometimes a girl needs to vent, I have this little blog and I think it's highly probable the staff at uhhh......let's call the company Fateway.....don't know how to read, so.....

Today I found out why the computer company Fateway chose their name.

Because they are the, um, fateway to frustration, poor customer service, people with attitude, crappy telephone lines and perhaps even the fateway to hell. I'm not sure about the last one, but considering the crackling phone lines I was on today, I wouldn't be surprised.

The video card in our 11 month old computer failed. It's still under warranty, so no biggy, right?

Uh, huh.

After a long rigmarole that involved me being on hold for over an hour, it was decided I would send the old video card to the company (at MY cost....did I mention the computer is under warranty?) and then they would send us the new video card to install. When they got a new one in stock, that is.

Away the bubble wrapped video card went, off to Texas. As in, Texas of the United States of America. Don't get me started on how much it cost me to send that broken video card via UPS. Did I mention the computer is still under warranty?

UPS called today. They informed me that the address I had sent the package to was incorrect. So I called Fateway, and I found that they had told me the address ended in 66 but it was supposed to be 06. Not a huge deal, it's possible I made the error, although I did repeat the address back to the original person I had spoken with due to a bad connection.

I phoned UPS and gave them the correct address.

An hour later I got a call from UPS. He informed me that the new address wouldn't accept the shipment and said it was supposed to have been shipped to their location in NEW YORK. So UPS was going to be forwarding it to them.

I was concerned that New York was going to receive the dead video card and not know what the heck it was about and not send me a new video card. So I decided to call Fateway.

Ya.

There was no record of any of my previous calls even though I had a service requisition number. And they had no idea why on earth it should be sent to New York. The lady on the other end of the crackling line told me it shouldn't be going to New York. Was I calling from Canada? I should have sent it to ONTARIO.

A migraine started.

She gave me the address to the place in Mississauga. No, she had no idea why anyone in the company would tell me to send it to Texas. And no, she really couldn't find out why someone would tell me the part wasn't in stock. That was impossible for anyone to know. The lady I spoke to before could NOT have told me that.

Another call to UPS. The guy on the other end was incredibly helpful. I really mean that. He said he knew the package had already gone on the truck headed to New York, but he would try and contact them and see about the possibility of rerouting it to Ontario. He was concerned about it going through customs again at the border and he figured they were going to have to charge me to get it sent there. He would check in to it and call me back.

Back on the phone with Fateway. No record of previous calls. She put me on hold while she went and got the supervisor from hell. And I think she walked because I was on hold for a very long time.

She asked me why on earth I would have sent it to New York OR Canada. It needed to go to Texas.

Blood started dripping out my left ear.

When I told her that's where I had originally sent it, she informed me that the address I sent it to was their old warehouse. They have a new one out there in the big state of Texas. What an idiot I am. What was I thinking?

When I asked her if she was sure, that I was told it was to go to Canada, she kinda flipped on me. Why did I keep repeating to her what other people had said to me? She didn't care what someone else had told me, SHE was telling me it needed to go to Texas. The whole call was through a crackling line and I had to keep asking her to repeat what she said. This did not improve her mood.

I told her I wanted to clarify what we discussed to make sure we were both clear about what was to happen. Then I told her I would phone UPS to ensure the package didn't get sent to the Great White North.

It is at this point in the tale, that I will pause to let you all know that you should never do that.

Apparently, the Fateway keeper is phoning UPS on Monday. I guess I missed that part what with all the crackling and attitude dripping on the phone line.

So here I sit, with assorted people in this house circling me, repeatedly asking me if I've finished yet so they can use the laptop. I'm looking forward to the call from the Fatekeeper telling me where UPS is sending the busted video card next.

There's something horribly wrong with a dead computer part being better travelled than me.

Happiness is Creativity Without the Need for HTML

Today I turned this:

Into this:

All without having to deal with HTML.

Oh happy day.

Have I Mentioned How Much I Hate HTML?

I want to change the look of my blog and have been 'researching' how to customize it. I shut it all down last night when my eyes started to bleed and I swore no less than 3 times at some lady blogger who told me it was as easy as pie (that should have been my first clue. Have you ever actually tried to make pie crust that didn't turn out to be 2 inches thick and tasted like you were eating gluey flour and water baked on high for 15 minutes? Easy as pie my a...).

I've been on all sorts of blogs that look like their owners most likely have 38 scrapbook photo albums for each of their children. (I have none....scrapbook albums, not kids. I have plenty of those.) And these bloggers swear they haven't paid someone to make their blogs all perfectly wonderful. I admit it. I have blogger's envy. Argh. They probably have perfect houses and perfect children too.

What have I gotten myself into? I started blogging as an outlet for frustrations, connect with family and friends, and just to be able to write and have some 'me' moments in my hectic life with four kids, two dogs and a husband (not necessarily in order of importance there). And now I'm worrying about 'my blog isn't as nice as her blog'?

Okay. Breathe. I do not want to change the look of my blog to compete with the 10 million other blogs in cyberspace. I want to change the look of my blog because I want to. I can picture it in my head but can't make the computer believe that's really what I want to do. The computer keeps laughing at me and thinks it's a game. "Oh, really? You want to widen those margins? 'Kay.....but that must mean you don't want this pesky side bar, here, so I'll just get rid of that for you."

Stupid HTML.

I'm begging for help. Don't make me have to go to blogging rehab. Don't make me take up scrap booking. Please....send me your links to stress free blogging designs. Send me info on how to have the upper hand with my computer. Is there a secret swear word I don't know about?

Epiphany. There's an underground secret code that all you HTML lovers know about, isn't there! All you HTML lovers know just where to insert that little code in amongst all that HTML gibberish. And then the computer sees that little secret code and says, "Ah, crap. Gotta listen to this one. They know what they're doing."

Give me the code. I won't tell anyone. Promise.

I'll bake you some pumpkin scones??

Hopping on the Bandwagon

I'm a bit of a late bloomer.

I'm always at the tail end of a fashion statement. The latest trends are new to me when I find them on a discount rack at Winners. I drive a 12 year old purple minivan (perhaps I've mentioned that in the past....vague memory....) while others are zipping around in Hybrids and SmartCars.

And this whole computer stuff. I'm a hopeless cause. I have no idea what Twitter is or what I'm suppose to Digg. I keep having to Google what Html stands for, never mind trying to make heads or tails of reading/writing those hieroglyphics.

Blogging is forcing me into places I have no desire to be. I keep ending up in places that are making me feel uncomfortable and scared that I will have to confess to Heath that, yes, it was I who caused the laptop to implode, or better yet, that I typed a k instead of a j and now someone in Kenya has access to all our bank accounts. Sorry dear. You can fix it, right? Stupid Html.

Anywhooo, so when I keep hearing about the 'latest' website or Internet thingy, I avoid it like I avoid cleaning my shower and discussing feminine hygiene products with my 6 year old. But I'm alone today. The only adult in the house with a 6 and 2 year old, and it's raining. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And so I've succumbed to checking out a website that 'everyone' is talking about (everyone cool and hip with the latest 'it' product and that has children under the age of 7....dang it, even my mother sent me the link.)

http://www.totlol.com

Where else can you watch 18 videos of cute little fluffy baby kittens and doggies and little children singing "We Will Rock You."? http://www.totlol.com/watch/GBD8tqxw0Kk/Kids-Will-Rock-You---We-Will-Rock-You/0/ Yes, there's the good old 'regular' youtube where you can watch 18 videos of cute little kitties....the problem being that the 19th video your 6 year old may click on may be dealing with pussies of a different nature.

Well, Eilidh is calling me to come see the cute dog playing with a room full of balloons. I bet it's even more cuter than the kitten climbing out of that hiking boot. Kill me now.