Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Customer Service

The Bank has started calling again.

The calls started last Thursday. Between 10:03 and 10:16 am each morning, the phone rings and they ask for the Husband. I tell them he's not home, they ask when would be a more convenient time to call, I tell them to call in the evening and they say they will make note of it on his account. Then they call the next day between 10:03 and 10:16 am.

But a strange thing has happened. Between you and me, I'm a bit worried.

I can find no joy in keeping track of when they call. I cannot mock the poor soul that has been scheduled to call our house between 10 and 10:15 every morning. I cannot find the energy needed to even try and explain my frustrations to the person on the other end of the phone.

I'm scared.

Do you think I have CRAPPeD*?

*Customer service Representatives Afflict Psychosis over the Phone Disorder?

I googled the symptoms:

  • Breaking into a cold sweat at the sound of ringing phones.
  • Elevator muzac induced hives.
  • Waking up at 3 am in a cold sweat with the inexplicable desire to bury all your phones in the backyard under the pale moonlight and with a clove of garlic.
  • Making the sign of the cross when you hear the words, "All our representatives are currently busy helping other customers."
  • Inability to say, "I want to speak with your supervisor," or "Your company sucks and I am never buying anything you sell ever never ever!"
  • A feeling of confusion and disorientation when a customer service representative solves your problem on the first phone call.
  • An obvious lack of joy when slamming a phone down in disgust....if you even feel disgust anymore.
  • Unexplainable twitching when hearing the words, "Gateway", "back order" and "Level 2"
  • Inability to make fun of poor customer service in a public forum.
  • Urge to drink at 10 am.
I've got them all.

And I don't know how to find the joy.

Help me, fellow readers. I cannot afford psychotherapy. I can barely afford the beer.

We can't let them win.

Help me get the joy back.


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