Tuesday, June 2, 2009


As I was using my kitchen tongs to fish a half eaten raw hide dog bone out of the toilet at 11:30 pm, a thought occurred to me.

There are some things in life I never thought I'd be doing.

When I became a mom, I knew I'd be puked on. I figured I would see my fair share of green snot, exploding diapers, teenage angst, grubby hands and have a perpetually dirty house.

No one told me about using my kitchen appliances in the commode.

So, do I throw out the tongs?

Boil them for 2 hours?

Throw them in the dishwasher and then tell The Husband what I last used them for as he's placing a cob of corn on his plate using the tongs?


I think I'm going to have to throw them out.

Can you top my tongs? What's one thing you've done that you never imagined in a bazillion years you would ever do?


elise666 said...

How about cut a piece of crap in two cause you know its going to plug the toilet...I have 2 kids that do major BIG ones!!
How about apologizing to your neighbor for recieving a rolling-down-the-hill trampoline in his back that your daughter thought would be fun to try!
How about getting poo-poo out of your 1 year olds mouth that fell out of your 2 1/2 year olds diaper.
How about trying to stay sane when your youngest threw-up from coughing to much, while your eldest is screaming that he is disgusting and your 2nd one is screaming at your youngest to stop coughing so he doesnt throw up again....oh man, just saying this is making me laugh and cry and all the stuff all at once.
How about trying to be calm when your 2nd looks at you with a pair of shorts in her hands and says "you still haven't washed this?, isn't this like all you have to do in a day!" breath, breath!
I could go on and on, and so could you,please share this is therapeutic!

MahoneyMusings said...

Welcome Elise! Thanks for sharing.
You make me feel not so alone in my mothering craziness.

Tiffany said...

I never thought that I would be Praying nightly for poop. My almost 3 year old has been having some pooping difficulties and each night in our Prayers we ask for him to be able to go poopy by himself soon. Also when he does go poop I get a lot more excited than I ever thought I would...lol.

elise666 said...

Oh my gosh, pooping problems, I am a good person to talk to about this! My 2 same BIG poopers I mentionned earlier made me go through all sorts of things up to the age of 5!
You can try a bit of olive oil hidden in his food, or prunes mushed up if he likes that! there is lansoyl (a red jello looking thing), it is mineral oil and you can give him a bit every 2 days and that helps too.
Just a bit of friendly advice! I was praying a lot too!

MahoneyMusings said...

My heart is swelling with pride that my little blog is bringing together moms and the poop issues of their lives.

I KNEW God had a purpose for my life......

Theresa said...

May I join the poop-versation?

One of my children accidentally swallowed a teeny tiny watch battery.

Did you know that you need to make sure the battery leaves the body?

Did you know that this happened when we had 6 houseguests?

Yes, Colleen - we threw out all the kitchen implements . . .

MahoneyMusings said...

This is the stuff they should be teaching in sex ed.

"If you get knocked up, you're going to be fishing batteries out of your kid's crap in front of your houseguests."