Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Border Crossing 101 - Griswold Style

The Husband and I decided to hop on over the border last weekend. Nothing says, "Let's celebrate being married to each other for an awe inspiring 20 years!" like a trip to Seattle.

Because the traditional gift of a 20th wedding anniversary is china.

But, honestly, China is pretty far to go when you are only able to get away overnight. And HELLO! Sleepless in Seattle was filmed there. I think.

Did they end up getting married?

Huh.

So like I was saying. Seattle totally makes sense as a 20th anniversary destination.

But first, we had to get across the border. We had a 90 minute wait but that didn't faze us.

Remember.....no children in the car. We passed the time playing cards and debating how many real parts were left on the hot chicks in the car next to us. Oh, and laughing at the group of cyclists in the truck behind them. Most fortunately for them, the Barbie with 3 real body parts left had to walk alllll the way to the washrooms and then the Barbie with the huge.......loan on her assorted new parts had to get out of the car and get in the driver's seat.

It was like watching synchronized swimming. 6 men's heads moving in perfect time.

We finally got to the front of the line. The Husband handed the scary looking border guard our documents.

The guard looked pretty cheesed that the Barbies weren't in his lane.

"What's the purpose of your trip?" he demanded. His accent was......is 'New York rapper' an accent?

"Heading to Seattle," the Husband answered.

"How lowng?!"

"Just overnight. It's our anniversary."

Scary long pause.

"WEDDIN' anniversary?!"

"Yes. 20 years."

Scarier long pause. Then he looked at our documents. For a long time. Kept flipping through them.

My stomach started churning.

"Mahoney."

"Yes...."

"Mahoney." He looked up and stared at the Husband. "That's how you say it? Mahoney?"

Gulp. "Yeesss....." replied the Husband.

"Mahoney? Like the movie Police Academy?? Sergeant Mahoney??? Hahahahaha!!!!! Mahoney!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

We laughed with him. We really wanted to go to Seattle.

"So, you buyin' the wife some blang?"

"Pardon me?"

"Some blang.....some blang, for yo' anniversary."

"Oh. Some bling. Ha. Ha. Ha."

Then the guard looked at me. "You gonna pick some blang out yo'sef?"

"Ha ha ha. Yes. Maybe I will."

"MAHONEY. Hahaha. I dig it. I dig it. You all have a good trip. Hahaha."

"Thanks." And the Husband drove away and we went and bought hand sanitizer and Cherry Dr. Peppers.

We drove down the I-5, listening to the Husband's iPod and having conversations such as, "What do you think are the best one liners people must hear living in a community with "Chuckanut Drive" and "Nootsack"?

We apparently haven't matured as much as one might think after 20 years of marriage.

Or it could have been the child free car and hand sanitizer fumes.

1 comment:

tentativeequinox said...

You've captured the border guard perfectly.

Hilarious.